


Lightning Rod

by Miss_V_257



Category: Avatar: Legend of Korra, Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: Angst, F/F, Gang, Secret Relationship, ex gang member, firebender, lightning bender, lots of pain, past relationship, press, teacher, training korra
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-22
Updated: 2020-11-27
Packaged: 2021-03-07 17:28:06
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 20,632
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26601385
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Miss_V_257/pseuds/Miss_V_257
Summary: After leaving Republic City  on the night you were going to propose to Lin to save her career, you swore you would never return. When Tenzin asks you to come tutor the new Avatar in centering herself, you break your vow, hoping your lightning abilities will help her become grounded, even as your past knocks you off balance.
Relationships: Lin Beifong/Reader
Comments: 47
Kudos: 207





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hi! I’m still very new to writing, so any feedback is very much appreciated, I hope you like it!

You didn’t quite know what to expect when you arrived, but a screaming teenager throwing a rock past your head was most certainly not it. Of course, considering what Tenzin had told you about the new Avatar, you supposed you shouldn’t be too surprised. “Korra!” Tenzin’s voice rang out, part anger and part horror as he noticed that the boulder she bended through the air in anger had almost hit you. “What!” The teenager spat at him, “It’s not like I threw it at someone!” You chuckled low at that, leading the teenager to whip her head around. “Spirits, I am so, so, so, sorry! I had no idea you where there.” You raised an eyebrow at the girl, taking in the teenager that was giving Tensin such trouble. “Hello, I’m Avatar Korra, welcome to Air Temple Island, how can I help you? are you lost? Normally we don’t get too many visitors, unless you count the press.” You chuckled again at the girl’s rambling. “No, I am not lost,” you said to her, “nor am I the press.” Tenzin came up behind her, surprise on his face. “You came?” You smiled softly at him, “Did you think I wouldn’t, old friend?” He looked at you, brows furrowing, “I didn’t think you would ever come back to Republic City.” You smiled sadly as you both looked at each other for a moment. You knew what he was referring too. How could you not? One of the most scandalous trials in Republic City’s history. Y/N Y/L/N, the notorious female firebender caught leaving the apartment of Lin Beifong, the then new police chief. Your history with the Gangs of the city, weather it was true or not, and the fact that you were near her had almost ruined her career. Of course, Tenzin knew the truth, you were only caught up with the gangs in the first place to attempt to get your little sister out of the clutches of one. However, the press, and therefore the people, would only remember your name for two nights, years apart. The first, when you were proven to be the youngest ever lightning bender outside of the royal family of the Fire Nation. The night a storm struck the city and nearly leveled three blocks. That was the night you were given the name “Storm Slayer” it was stupid, something to grab headlines, as if a 15 year old girl exploding with lightning wasn’t enough. The second time you would appear in the press would be 13 years later, when someone had managed to get a picture of you leaving Lin’s apartment. The fact that you were there put her career in danger, if the press ever found out what you were doing there, well, she would never be able to serve on the police force again. You still remember the headline, and the look on her face when she read it “Storm Slayer Sneaking Out of New Police Chief’s Apartment: Lin Beifong’s possible Gang Alliance” It didn’t matter that you weren’t affiliated with any gang, and hadn’t even had contact with one since the night of the storm, the damage was done. 

“Ahem” Korra pulled you both out of your seemingly shared memory. “Don’t mean to interrupt whatever that is, but um, who exactly are you?” Tenzin scoffed as you chuckled “Korra!” He started, glaring at the girl, “you could do to have at least some respect, especially when you’re speaking to one of the few bending masters willing to come within a mile of you!” The girl went wide eyed at that as you laughed once again, how uptight Tenzin was never ceased to amaze you. She bowed deeply before mumbling another apology, “It’s quite alright, my name is Y/N, I was told you could use a little help with some bending.” The young Avatar looked at you quizzically “Just Y/N, no fancy last name or title or anything?” A mildly outraged Tenzin looked like he couldn’t decide if he wanted to kill himself or the teenager. “And I don’t know where you heard that, but I’ve mastered all forms of bending, so thanks, but I’m pretty much good.” Well, you could certainly see why Tenzin had trouble with the girl. “Korra!” He yelled, fuming so much you might have thought he was the fire bender of the two of you. You chuckled again, “Well, being able to do something and mastering it are a bit different.” You started, gauging how the girl would react. “I’ve been informed you have trouble centering yourself.” You paused, giving the girl a moment, “am I incorrect?” And, there it was, the reaction, she groaned and rolled her eyes “Tenzin!” Korra started, clearly unimpressed “ It’s not like I can’t do anything! I’m not doing any more of this stupid meditation so I can be more ~centered~ or whatever! It’s lame and what does being centered even do anyway?” You chuckled for what seemed like the hundredth time since you got to the island. “Lame, huh?” You asked the girl, she looked at you sheepishly. “I’m sorry, but how could getting centered possibly be anything but lame” you smiled as you slipped off the thin leather gloves you always wore. Handing them gently to Tenzin, who took care to to touch your skin, it was funny, he knew you were perfectly in control now, but you guessed old habits never die. As you allowed the energy from your body to seep into the air around you, you saw Korra shiver and look at you I surprise when the hair on her arms stood up. You looked at her dead in they eyes, knowing Tenzin would probably kill you for this later. “I suppose this would be too lame for you then?” then, without moving a muscle you gathered all the energy around you into a bolt of lightning, letting it strike the ground right at Korras feet, allowing it to give a good thunderclap for effect. You thought the girl had lost all the blood In her face as she stood there, completely shocked. “How did you do that! You didn’t even move!” You smiled, “It’s all about being centered. Unfortunately you seem to think it’s lame, so I guess you won’t want to learn it.” Tenzin looked at you in frustration as the girl practically bounced around, already apologizing once again and saying how excited she was to learn. You gave Tenzin a smile as he handed the gloves back to you. Suddenly the girl seemed to take notice, “Will I have to wear gloves too?” Tenzin looked away, seemingly embarrassed once again by the girls questions. “No, these are just for me. It helps others feel more comfortable, and they let me relax a bit more if I want to.” Korra deeming was not satisfied with this answer, “Why would others feel like they weren’t safe? Did you hurt someone? Was there an explosion?!” She seemed far to enthused about that particular idea to you, and thankfully Tenzin shut down the line of questioning with a stern look and a quick word. 

Just then it seemed as thought the entire clan came running around the corner. Three small airbenders came barreling at you on balls of air, there exasperated mother behind them. “What was that!” The middle one yelled, her hair was done up in twin buns, you were guessing this one was Ikki, going off Tenzin’s letters. The boy came right up to you next, Meelo, If the lack of personal space was anything to go off of. “Hi, who are you? Did you hear that big boom! It sounded like an explosion! Where did it come from?” Finally, the oldest spoke up, “Hello, I’m Jinora, is everything alright, we heard something from in the temple.” You smiled at the oldest girl, feeling the energy radiating off of her. “Nice to meet you Jinora,” you said, nodding your head at her, “everything is alright, I was simply demonstrating to Korra the opertunities that open up when one approaches bending when they are grounded and centered.” Pema finally caught up to the children, baby in her arms, “Y/N! It’s wonderful to see you again! Tenzin told me he sent you a letter, but we honestly didn’t think you would come back here.” You smiled at the warm woman, “That’s what I heard, should I be offended you all have such little faith in me!” You joked, laughing at yourself and your old friends. Your laughter was short lived as the middle one, Ikki, spoke up again, “Wait, Y/N, like the lightning bender, the one you told us about!” You looked surprised at the little girl, already jumping around again. Meelo joined in, “No way, you’re the Storm Slayer!” He barreled around on his air ball, the two middle children doing loops in excitement. You blanched at the moniker, trying to ignore the connotations and flashbacks it threatened to bring. “Meelo! Ikki!” Tenzin shouted, bringing the two back to reality, “That cruel name is something the press made up to try to make the entire city fear Y/N, not to mention the things the city did out of anger. You will not, under any circumstances, call her that. It is absolutely horrible.” The two children sobered up immediately as they took in their fathers words, they both mumbled various “sorry’s” while looking at their toes. You nodded your thanks to Tenzin. Now it was Korra’s turn to continue the interrogation, “Storm Slayer, I remember being told that story when I was little, but I heard some violent lunatic tried to destroy the city.” You breathed hard now, the pain and shame rising in you. “Well, I can assure you what happened that day was an accident, and while I did cause significant damage, I never intended too. I was younger than you are now, and trapped trying to save my sister. I lost control, and whatever was around me paid the price.” There was a moment of silence as the family took in what you said. “But, Y/N never meant to hurt anyone, and she has helped quite a lot of people since then!” Pema chimed in, trying to lighten the mood, you gave her a thankful smile before you felt the presence of someone running towards the group.

“What happened?” Lin yelled at Tenzin and Korra, “There were reports of an explosion on Air Temple Island, I came as fast as I could.” The wind seemed to be knocked out of you. You stood there looking at her, Lin, your Lin, well, not anymore. The years had gone by, her hair was silver now, and the scars on her face had faded a bit more, but those eyes. Those Jade eyes still rattled you to your very core. She hadn’t seemed to notice you yet, but your heart broke at the sight of her, all the memories flooding back. The years you spent together, the laughter and tears you shared, cooking for her in her kitchen, learning how to box from her, teaching her your own tricks with a knife. Her being the first person you weren’t scared to take the gloves off with, the only person you allowed to touch your skin. Singing for her and letting her braid your hair when you were exhausted from the toll learning to control the lightning took on you. Helping her clean her wounds from work, celebrating with her when she was appointed chief of police, picking out the ring you wanted to give her, seeing the headline, holding her as she sobbed as her life seemed to fall apart, packing your things and leaving that night, taking the ring with you. It all hit you like a wave, the emotions threatening to pull you under suddenly. You hadn’t lost control in years, but as your heart broke all over again, you could feel the pricking at your fingertips, safely kept away under the gloves. You wouldn’t actually form any lightning, but they must have all felt the air shift around them. Lin shook her head and muttered “What on earth?” As she looked around and BAM! Those jade eyes found yours, all the air left your body, your heart felt like it had been pulled from your chest. Shock spread across her face, then a wash of other emotions before she realized there were others around her. You could feel the pulsing electric beats of her heart, felt the whole world seem to stop around you. Then, pain. Horrible pain, coming from the inside, you looked down at your hands, realizing you were shaking, and immediately knew you were having trouble keeping it in. Your emotions had always had an extremely powerful effect on your bending, and despite the incredible control you usually had, Lin seemed to break it all apart by just looking at you. Your heart seized as electricity pumped through your veins, and you took a deep breath. Trying desperately to steady yourself, you knew you had enough control not to hurt anyone, that was never a problem since the night of the storm, but hurting yourself, that was a whole other issue. You closed your eyes, breathing deeply, trying to let the pain subside, when you opened them again, you knew she could tell. She always could. “Y/N...” she said. Almost as breathless as you were. “Li- Chief Beifong” you corrected yourself immediately, trying to break the tie you felt with the woman. Her jade eyes shone with unshead tears, “You’re alright, I thought, after, it’s been so long.” She stuttered, trying to find the words. “19 years.” You said with a wavering voice. Korra finally broke the tension, “Um, Y/N, I think you broke Beifong, she doesn’t really normally do emotions.” You gave a small smile at that, bringing you can to reality. “Yes, I’m sorry to have pulled you away from work, I was showing Korra what you can do when you are probably centered when you bend. Tenzin wrote me when she was having trouble. I told him I would try to help.” You said. Lin had closed off her face, but the shock came back to her eyes. “You’re staying” you looked at her, scared you would put her in jeopardy once again. “Only on the island, and only tutoring Korra, I won’t be in the city, and I won’t be seen outside the temple. Ever.” You held her eyes, doing your best to tell her you didn’t want her to get into any trouble. Korra groaned beside you “Well, looks like you’re not gonna be any fun either then, just what we need, another old, boring, master bender.” You shot her a sideways glance as she caught herself, “Oh, Korra, This will be fun.”


	2. Movement and Sand

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You know you need to get away from Lin as quickly as possible to keep yourself in check, but what happens when she follows you to unstable ground?

You didn’t know what to do. You had learned from a very young age to always keep moving. As a kid, you had to keep moving to survive, to find food for you and your little sister, after the accident you had to keep moving to avoid the almost daily attacks and harassment from the citizens of Republic City. After Lin, you kept moving to try to forget, you tried to run from your emotions. There was only one time you could ever remember being still, truly content and still, and that was with her. As a lightning bender, especially one with your abilities tied so tightly to your very being, stillness was almost impossible for you. Tenzin would tease you for it when you were younger, saying you shifted and vibrated just like the lightning you were capable of, it was true, you’re instinct was always to keep moving, after all, the instant lightning stops moving, it’s gone. This was never more true than right now, standing in front of Lin. You could feel your very nature urge you to do something, anything. Korra kept on ranting about how Air Temple Island was boring and how saying you wouldn’t go into the city was rediculus. It seemed the teen had no concept of how cruel the city could be, especially the citizens themselves. “I used to live there Korra.” You started, bringing the girl out of her rant, “So I can assure you I won’t be missing anything.” She frowned, and seemed to want to start again, but stopped herself. So, the girl did have some restraint after all. Now if only you could find yours under the Jade eyes in front of you. Six feet away, Lin was close, too close. You took a step back, trying not to be obvious, but naturally the woman’s jade eyes jerked to you, noticing your every movement, she was probably watching you with her sizemic sense too, meaning she could most likely feel your entire body straining under the energy inside of it. She looked like she wanted to come closer, to reach out to you, but she was a smart woman, the most intelligent you had ever met actually, she wouldn’t here, certainly not in front of Korra and Tenzin, and his family. At least that’s what you thought, but as the children started plaguing their father with questions about you she took a step forward. No. One of your most frightening abilities was easily the way you could feel the little electric pulse in the hearts of those close to you. You tried to focus on something else, anything else, but it was Lin’s heartbeat filling your ears, your head, it felt as though your spirit was shaking with each beat. You sifted back again, you needed to get away from her. Your entire being wanted to fall into her, grab her and press her to you, hold her close until the pain went away. Let her run slow circles on your neck like she used to do when your power became too much. But no, you couldn’t do that to her. You loved her, and at one time she had loved you, but you couldn’t ask her to throw away her life for you, and you couldn’t now either. Your gloved fingers brushed Tenzin’s arm as you moved away, Korra was distracted with Pema, and he still had children dogging him left and right, but you needed to let him know you were going. He looked at you and nodded, he must have seen the pain in your eyes as you turned from Lin towards the temple, taking one slow step, then two, then four, then eight. You just needed to get away, far enough where you couldn’t feel her. You made it maybe 20 feet, when, after making sure the children and Korra had their attention somewhere else, you broke into a run. 

You ran and ran, down to the beach, the side of the island away from the city, your old favorite spot. You sat down on the sand, kicking your shoes off as you laughed at yourself. How pathetic, running away to the water again. There was something about the water for you, it was odd, as a lightning bender, if you made the wrong move around water, it could easily kill you, but the cool darkness felt calming as the waves came up to lick at your feet. It was funny, you could remember when people would throw water on you in the streets. You were just a teenager then, but even after being found innocent, most blamed you for what happened the night of the storm. You understood it, but as you remembered the water running down you and people yelling, screaming at you to use your lightning now, at least then you would destroy yourself too, you still felt hurt. You knew coming back to the city, even if you were just on the island, would leave you emotionally raw, but this was hard. You didn’t think you would have to see her, at least certainly not on your first day back. You felt a shift in the air’s energy around you again. You knew who it was instantly, you knew her energy anywhere. She didn’t say anything, but she was there, a few feet behind you, slightly to your left if you were correct. She was watching you. You gathered what little courage you had and spoke, “I said I wouldn’t leave the island and I meant it. I will avoid attention at all costs. Tenzin knows not to let anyone know I’m here, and Korra will soon. I told Tenzin I would do my best to help her, and that is all, I’m not coming back, I’m not staying in the city, I’m not going anywhere near the press. You’re safe, no one will know. I swear, you’re safe.” Your voice wobbled on the last sentence. It was hard to speak. Years of training your emotions, strengthening your walls and defenses, all crumbling without a single word from her. “You weren’t there.” She said, it was almost a question. Her voice tinged with disbelief. Against your better judgement, you looked at her. And spirits did you want to explode in that moment. Her eyes, normally lit with intensity and intelligence now were twisted by pain. The outer corners of her eyes creating a grimace that spread down her cheekbones, but the worst part, the worst part was the set of her jaw, normally strong with determination, now in hurt disbelief. “I woke up and you weren’t there, all that was there was a note.” Your breath wasn’t stolen away once again as she quoted your own words, written so many years earlier. “I could never ask you to throw away your life for me, I will always love you, and I’m so sorry for that. I hope you find someone who can love you just as much, without destroying your world.” She repeated the note verbatim. 19 years and she still knew every word, but then again, so did you. You shook when you spoke, “It was true then and it’s true now, I will not ask, no, I couldn’t let you throw away your life for me.” You paused, “You have so much to give to this world, so much good you can do, you couldn’t have done it with me there.” She shook her head, anger dancing across her features, mixed with sadness, “You don’t know that.” She insisted, stepping closer. You began to shake once again. “Yes, yes I do.” You looked her dead in the eye, “and so do you.” You visibly flinched when she took another step towards you, the pain from forcing your body not to react with an outburst of lightning building to excruciating. She gasped, she wouldn’t have felt it on the sand, wouldn’t have realized you were hurting yourself, but now, now she knew. She immediately backed away, putting distance between the two of you as quickly as possible. “I won’t hurt you.” You said to her, your voice straining over the pain, “Spirits, Lin, I could never hurt you.” Her voice cracked with her reply, “I know, you’re hurting yourself.” You wanted nothing more then to run to her, but you couldn’t, you knew you couldn’t. 

Your savior came in the form of the Avatar, the teenage water bender once again came running to you, smiling like a madman, and the irony was not lost on you. You were to be teaching her to center and ground yourself, and here you were, moments away from crying on the beach. You had to get control of yourself. “So, master Y/N, when do we start?” You chuckled at her enthusiasm quickly attempting to put your emotions in check, “Well, miss Avatar,” You said as you rose to your feet, “I think tomorrow will have to do” you almost laughed at the frown that formed on her face. “we can go over what you already know, and then begin there.” She groaned and rolled her eyes, earning an undignified snort from Lin, which had you whipping your head around to the woman, there was the sass you remembered. “Oh, hello Lin. Do you know Y/N, or do you suddenly like the beach?” Now it was your turn to suppress a laugh as the woman quite nearly blushed, not enough for Korra to notice, but it was certainly there. You cut In for her, noticing her lack of words, “I knew Chief Beifong before I left the city. We were friends.” Of course, the young avatar had the social sense of a turtleduck and immediately asked “Did you have a fight or something? You don’t seem very friendly.” Lin’s eyes went wide as you shot up a brow at the girl. “Well, it seems I’ll need to work on your intuition as well, Korra” the corner of your mouth twisting into a smile, “You will find that if you wish to bend lightning, you’ll need to be able to sense the energy around you.” The girl blushed and looked down, at least having the sense to look embarrassed. Of course, Pema could be heard calling Korra in, probably wondering what sort of trouble she was up to going off of Tenzin’s letters. The Avatar turned to you. “It’s about time for dinner, since you’re staying on the island, you’re going to eat with us right?” She asked. You nodded to her, she looked to Lin next, “Are you staying for dinner tonight, it’s been awhile since you have?” Lin looked at you before shaking her head. “No, I don’t think that is a good idea. I have work to do at the station anyway.” Korra nodded, and the three of you walked up towards the main part of the island. You looked at Lin as she turned to leave, separating from the two of you. You understood she was hurt, but she had to have moved on. There were so many options for her, she had to have found someone to make her happy. You’re heart seemed to break at the idea, but the alternative felt as though it would shatter it.


	3. The First day of Training

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Your first day of training with Korra went rather well, the rest of the day on the other hand, not so much.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (Trigger warning for violence, whoops, gotta have some trauma. Of course, comments are so so so appreciated, a little longer than normal, whoopsie! I hope you like it!)

The worst part was always the dreams, sure, there we scars on your body, but the ones in your mind made them pale in comparison. You were 15 again, going after your sister, she was foolish, stupid to follow those boys around. Sure, the gangs often sent people to the orphanage to recruit kids, but your sister was only 13, she would have been left alone if she hadn’t always been tied up with those young trouble makers. You knew there was some kid, Zolt or something, that those kids were always talking about, you heard them saying they would introduce her sometime, but you didn’t think she’d actually be stupid enough to go. ~Stupid? Why did you call her stupid~ You dodged in between the tall buildings of downtown, doing your best to blend in, there it was, the big building with the gangsters hung about. It was a bad part of town, that was for sure. ~But it didn’t deserve what you did to it.~ You walked around the building once, twice, looking for any sign of your sister, or her friends. Ah, yes, friends, because nothing says “looking out for a friend” like taking her to a gang hangout. You were gonna kill her for this. ~No, No, No, Make it stop!~ You saw some crates, rather conveniently placed by a window, how lovely. You climbed up them and peaked in. Oh no, please no. Your baby sister was there, with her already raggedy dress torn from the shoulder, her lip was split and her hands were bound behind her back. She was yelling, there was someone in front of her and she was yelling at him. You couldn’t think, you just needed to get her out of there. You opened the window and ran in, jumping in between your sister and the large man. “Sir, I’m so, so, sorry, I don’t know what happened, but my sister and I don’t want any trouble, please, just let her go, I can fix whatever she did.” The man was big, really big, and you heard someone laugh from the shadows behind him. “Is that right, little girl?” He was antagonizing you, you knew that. You just needed to stay calm, and find a way to get you and your sister out. “Yes sir, please, tell me what happened.” He laughed now, “Well, it seems this little troublemaker has been going around telling secrets, and let’s just say my boys don’t take kindly too it.” You looked at your sister, “Lei? What is he talking about?” There were tears running down her face. “I’m so sorry Y/N, I should have listened, they said they were gonna show me a really cool spot, but after they said it was a gang place I tried to run home.” She was full on sobbing now. “Please, I just want to go home, Y/N, take me home.” ~No, I’m sorry Lei, I’m so sorry~ The big man in front of you spoke to you again, “Now you understand we can’t have people knowing where we are, you’re old enough to get that” He looked at your sister, “She did put up a fight though, burned one of the boys pretty bad, tell me, are you a fire bender too?” Oh. It was a trap, of course it was a trap. “Please sir, we really don’t want any trouble, no one will ever know where you are.” He laughed in your face this time, the room seemed small all of a sudden as he stepped forward, you could feel the fire in your blood, but something strange was happening under your skin. “Well, what a shame, maybe I could have made something out of the two of you.” He pulled out a knife and someone came forward, one of the boys Lei hung around with, but now he was covered In burns. She started to scream and cry behind you. You turned to run the few feet to her when two pairs of arms grabbed you, lifting you up off the ground and holding you back. They had on thick suits made out of funny material, your blood froze as you realized they were in anti-fire bender gear. The boy got closer to your sister, your baby sister, you couldn’t tell which one of you was screaming, both, it was so loud, so, so loud. Then the knife went across her throat. It was silent, blood, red blood streamed down her chest, the boy laughed, the big man said “Good” and then it happened. Thunder cracked in the sky above you, you could feel the whole room seem to buzz, then everything went white. 

You woke up covered in sweat and panting. You should have expected the nightmares, after all, being near the city again wasnt going to help, that was for sure. The sky was still dark, but you could see a sliver of sun on the horizon out your window, so you decided it would be best to just get up. You wiped at your face with your hands and sighed, pushing yourself off the bed. The floor was cold on your bare feet, that was nice, cold and cool, the stone was calming, it felt safe, it let you breathe for a moment. Cool and firm, just like- no, absolutely not, that was not happening. You took deep breaths and began to stretch, clearing your mind of jade eyes and pale scars across sharp cheekbones. You slipped on your clothes, tight leggings came down low enough to be tucked into your leather boots. You brought your wrap around your side, tying the knot above your right hip, creating a sort of half skirt. A tight shirt came over your head, long sleeved, you always covered your skin, but tended to like things that fit close but enabled you to move. You ran your fingers through your hair before slipping on your gloves and exiting the room, almost face first into the young avatar. So she’s one of those people then. “Hi, um, I’m sorry, but you said we could start first thing so I just sort of came as soon as the sun was up!” You sighed, looking at the girl, “Well, I suppose your enthusiasm will do you well, but have you eaten yet?” She looked down, “Um, no?” You shook your head, a smile pulling at your face, “had anything to drink maybe?” Now she certainly looked embarrassed, “No.” You laughed a bit, nodding your head, “I thought as much, how about we get something to eat, and then we begin, seem fair?” She nodded quickly, a smile stretching over her whole face, you followed her to the kitchen to find Pema cooking in a robe and Tenzin sipping tea. “Korra, you didn’t honestly go wake Y/N up did you, the sun is bearly up!” You chuckled, “It’s quite alright, I was awake any way, however I did tell her that I’m not teaching anything until I have some tea.” Pema laughed lightly as she handed you a cup, you thanked her as Korra sat and began to eat rather ravenously. “So, you were hungry then?” You asked the girl, quirking your brow. She looked up at you with food stuffed in her cheeks and her mouth half open. “Uh, yeah” she sallowed, thankfully. “Im just really excited, I want to get started right away!” You smiled at her, “Well, we certainly can, but I’ve found that trying to focus when your hungry is rather difficult.” 

You finished eating and went outside, Tenzin following you to watch from a distance. He always was cautious, and though he trusted you, he did not quite trust his your student’s behavior. “Alright then, sit down, across from me, fold your legs and try to sit upright, but relaxed.” The girl groaned, “Oh, come on, I thought this would be fun!” You chuckled, “it will be fun, but we have to learn to be safe before we can have fun, lightning is not like other bending, Korra. You are bending energy, you are changing the energy around you, it’s incredibly dangerous. You must understand that, lighting is not a toy, no matter how exciting it may be.” The girl nodded, a serious look settling across her features. You took your gloves off and laid them in your lap, gently stretching your fingers out, and scooting slightly closer to the girl. “Now, lightning is energy, and energy is cyclical, the first thing you need to be able to do is to safely conduct lightning before you can create it. You must let the lightning flow from you hand, up your arm to your shoulder, down into your stomach, up your other shoulder, down your arm, and out your body.” The avatar looked at you, “Is this why you made me eat before this?” You laughed, “well, let’s just say it’s a bit easier if you know where your stomach is.” You traced a path from you arm, across your body by way of your stomach. “Mirror my movements, alow the energy to flow through you.” You watched as the avatar tried to shift her energy, she would do very well in her arms, however she tended to not go deep enough into your stomach. “You’re looking at me funny.” She said, you smiled at the comment, “Am I?” You quirked your brow as she continued the movement, “It’s like Lin when she’s using sizemic sense.” Her name caused your heart to sieze , but you kept your focus on the girl in front of you. “I suppose so, I’m watching your energy. Chief Beifong can feel your movements through the earth, I feel your movements through energy and chi.” Korra nodded, seemingly satisfied. “You must go deeper in your center, imagine you’re pooling your energy in the base of your spine, the bowl of your lap.” She nodded and tried again, almost perfectly. “Good, very good. Just mind that you keep it low, If you were to redirect lighting through your heart, it could stop it. Redirecting the energy through your stomach is crucial.” You spent a few hours simply going over this motion and giving her adjustments and ideas she could resonate with. For all her whining, she was actually quite dedicated. Eventually you stopped her. 

“Alright, now, I’m going to show you what it looks like when you intensify the energy, forming lightning.” You took a breath, gathering the energy from inside yourself and the air around you to form a small crackle in your right hand, you raised it up and repeated the movement, allowing the lighting to flow from one hand, through your body, to the other. The avatar sat, seemingly mesmerized. “It’s so calm, it’s almost like water, sharp water.” You chuckled and allowed the energy to disperse safely into the air, “I suppose so. Now, I want you to continue your movement and I’m going to give you some lightning, I want you to redirect it through yourself, and back into my hand. You must stay calm and breathe, no matter what, do not stop the flow of energy, I’m going to use as little as possible, but if it’s too much, then just let it go out your other hand, don’t try to control it past your body, alright?” The young avatar nodded, clearly nervous. As she continued her movement, you pulled a small bit of lighting into your hands, enough to make a continuous stream, but just barely, you let her continue for a moment, just holding the lighting near her before reaching up to her hand, allowing the energy to flow from you to her, you watched closely as she redirected it from her fingers, through her wrist, down her arm, she needed to keep it low, keep it low! She kept it low! It went down into her stomach before coming out her other arm, it bust out from her, completely uncontrollably, but you were ready, you caught it and again allowed the energy to disperse. “I did it!” Korra shouted, jumping up, “Spirits! I did it, Tenzin, did you see that! I used my energy and redirected the lighting!” Tenzin smiled, what an odd yet touching sight, you chuckled quietly to yourself. You rose to your feet, replacing your gloves “Yes you did, it’s well after midday now, how are you feeling?” Korra whipped around and suddenly it caught up with her “A bit woozy, actually, ok, maybe a lot woozy.” She started to stumble and sway as the adrenaline wore off, you and Tenzin rushed to her sides as she shook her head. “Perhaps we get you something to eat then, maybe call it a day?” You asked the young avatar, she whined, but Tenzin cut her off “Shifting energy is exhausting, you have done an amazing amount already today, rest.” Korra nodded her head and the two of you brought her inside. She gorged herself once again before promptly collapsing on some cusions to sleep. “She did well, very well, there aren’t that many who could have gone that long on their first try.” You said to Tenzin, sitting across from you as you drank tea and watched the sleeping girl. “She is the avatar.” He said, shaking his head at her. He looked at you, the smile leaving his face. “Are you alright?” He asked, and the honesty touched you. He genuinely cared, you didn’t need to feel his heartbeat to know that much. “It’s difficult, but I’m doing alright.” You nodded, taking another sip of your tea. “You were awake rather early this morning,” he hesitated, looking at you to stop him. “You still have the nightmares don’t you?” You sighed, “Yes, but I’m alright, I can handle the dreams. I knew there would be more if I came back, I was ready for them.” Tenzin looked at you with sadness in his eyes, “Is there anything you can do to stop them?” You bit back rueful laughter, there was, but it was not so much do, as be around someone. When you were with Lin they went away, even when you did have them you always woke up in her arms, where it was safe, and she would hold you until you went back to sleep, whispering to you and rubbing circles on your back and shoulders. Tenzin’s gaze brought you back to reality, shaking the memories out of your head. “No, not really.” He looked down, you knew he could tell you were lying, but he didn’t press. He knew you, if you wanted to talk about it you would, and you knew him, he would be there to listen if you needed. 

Pema entered the room, laughing as she saw Korra passed out. She nodded to you, eyeing Tenzin in a way that mildly concerned you. He looked questioningly at his wife. She glanced from him to you a few times. “She came to check on Korra, see how she was doing with training, and to see if she had destroyed anything yet. I asked her to wait in the kitchen while i found Korra.” Tenzin looked up “Oh,” you realized, it was Lin who had come to check in on the avatar. “Yes, well, I, it’s not up to me, it’s perfectly fine if Li- Chief Beifong checks in on the avatar.” Tenzin looked at you with worry. His eyes glancing to your bouncing leg under the table. “You don’t have to take it, you know, we can ask her to come back.” You shook your head, “And, at least for now, I will be here all the same, there’s no point in hiding.” Tenzin nodded and Pema left to get Lin. She was gone a moment before Lin walked into the room, her metal armor wrapped around her body, her eyes intensely scanning for the avatar. “There were no reports today, so it went better than I expected then.” She looked at the sleeping girl in the corner. “Spirits, you actually got her to shut up.” You looked at Lin, who apparently haven’t noticed you in your corner yet, with Tenzin inbetween you, blocking her view. You spoke “She did quite well, she will need time, but she didn’t hurt herself, and that’s what’s important.” Lin’s eyes snapped to you. “I didn’t know you were in here.” She said, almost defensively, watching your face closely, she was scanning you, looking for signs of pain. She couldn’t watch you sizemicly as you had your feet folded up on the chair underneath you. “I’m sorry, I, I...” she seemed to be at a loss for words. Pema spoke up, “Tenzin, why don’t you help me prepare for dinner?” Tenzin looked nervously between the two of you before nodding and following his wife out of the room. “I thought that you would be somewhere else if they let me in.” she said to you, still standing stiff across the room, desperately trying to read your face. Your heart was beating fast, and you could feel hers as well. It was loud, and you could feel your power straining, but it wasn’t painful yet. “I know. It’s alright, I can go.” You offered nodding your head to the door. “No!” She said rapidly closing half of the distance between you, she was only a few feet away. “I’m sorry.” She said, backing away, “Is it painful?” You looked down, “I remember you saying it hurt to control it, I remember what it did to you.” You’re breathing came heavy as she stood in front of you. “Yes, well, I...” you didn’t know what to say, you hesitated, looking at her before bringing your leg up in front of you and untying the boot you wore, letting it fall to the ground. You let your leg move to the floor, putting the sole of your foot down, she raised her eyebrows as she realized what you were doing. You were letting her watch you. You didn’t know why, but you knew she needed to know if you were in pain. She gasped as your foot hit the stone. “Oh” she said, looking at you as her eyes softened. She could tell you were straining, but it wasn’t too painful yet. She looked you right in the eyes, “About yesterday,” she started, steeling herself, almost forcing herself to speak. “I shouldn’t have chased you, I’m sorry.” You looked at her, the woman standing in front of you, the jade eyes piercing your very soul. “Don’t be, you were right, you deserved more than a letter.” You paused, “So much more, so much more.” You looked up at the ceiling, breathing deep as your emotions became more and more heightened, making your abilities harder to control. She could certainly feel you in a bit of pain now, your body tightening and spasaming minutely, trying to control itself. You looked her dead in the eye. “Are you happy?” She stared at you, watching you breathlessly, “What?” She asked, and you sighed. “Please, tell me you’re happy.” Tears began to sting your eyes “I need you to be happy.” She looked at you and tears were in her eyes too, “I...” and Korra woke up, ending your conversation.


	4. Tea and Hidden Tears

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Memories surface as you help Korra sfter training, leading both you and Lin to face some interesting questions.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! I really enjoyed writing this part, and we did have some happy moments here! Yay! Of courve, it wouldn’t be my writing if I left my characters unscathed, so we joy learning where your particular scar is!
> 
> Also! Updates are always a day sooner on my tumblr, and there’s more information about Y/N and some head cannons on there! So come check it out! It’s Miss-V
> 
> As usual, comments are so appreciated, and any feedback is welcome! Ok, here we go!

You thought you might die, yes, this was the universe punishing you. You quickly wiped away your tears, taking a deal breath as you looked at the avatar. Korra grumbled something and groaned loudly as she sat up, “Ugg, I feel like I got crushed by a boulder! Is it always like this?” As much as you wanted to zap her back to sleep, you did have a bit of sympathy for the girl, it was exhausting work, and it took a toll on her. “No,” you sighed at her, thankful your voice didn’t break. “It will hurt for now, moving energy through your body like that is incredibly intense, controlling it can be difficult, and training can be hard, but it will get easier with time.” You smiled softly at the girl. Standing up to go to the stove, opening the cabinets above it, looking for the herbs you needed. “I’ll make you something to help, just stay there for a bit, stretching can help though.” You searched the cabinet before pulling out three canisters, you’d have to thank Tenzin later for always keeping herbs in stock. Korra seemed to notice Lin then, most likely to the Police Chief’s dismay. “Oh, Lin! Uh, hi?” You heard Lin all but growl in frustration, and could practically feel the anger coming off of her in waves. “Hello, Korra. I came to see how training went, mainly to survey the damage.” Korra sighed, “Well, I didn’t destroy a single thing.” She said, though she sounded rather disappointed at that. You chuckled, “I let you hold lightning for a brief moment and you can barely move, do you really want to have to take it all on at once?” That seemed to silence the Avatar for a moment as you measured out Lavender, Chamomile, and Featherfew. The avatar surprised you when she spoke again. “What would happen to a person? If that happened?” You felt yourself freeze and your energy spike for a moment. You could see Lin shift towards you out of the corner of your eye and quickly became aware that she could feel everything from your shoeless foot. You swallowed and kept you hands busy making the tea, putting the kettle on to boil as you mixed and ground the plants. “Most likely, if someone were to be exposed to the unbridled ability of lightning, they would die.” But of course the avatar pressed on. “But if they didn’t?” Lin stepped in for you “Korra, that’s enough.” You heard Korra scoff a “What?” before she fell silent, most likely leveled by one of Lin’s glares. You sighed, heavy and deep this time as you braced yourself “If they survived, they would be far from unscathed, and they would have to learn how to control their abilities, in this case already fully unleashed, as quickly as possible. If they didn’t, it would destroy them.” A heavy silence fell over the room as you put the herbs down, now just waiting for the water to heat up enough. When you turned towards the two you could see Korra looking incredibly frightened, and Lin, Lin looked at you with such understanding. Her jade eyes reflected the pain you felt, remembering the toll that learning to control the lighting took on you, her eyes wandering to your left leg, still with your boot, most likely remembering the scar there. “They would have to learn it all at once?” Korra asked you. You nodded. “How is that even possible, I feel like this now, if.....” her words fell away as she looked down at the floor. 

She continued after a moment, “That would be like...” it was Lin who interrupted her, her eyes never leaving yours, “Like going through torture, every day.” You had to force yourself to breathe at the weight of her words. You could both remember it, the days where she would come home and you would be laying on the couch, your whole body spasaming as you whimpered in pain, tears streaming down you face from what you had to do to learn to keep it inside. She would make the tea for you, that’s where you learned to make it, from her, and hold you until your body stopped shaking, she would lift you and carry you to the bed when you couldn’t move, gently massaging you after putting you down, always taking extra time to trace your scar as you groaned in pain. You can still feel the ghost of her hands against the scar on you, the only physical remnant from the might when your sister was killed. She would start with the sole of your left foot, where it began, tracing it up your instep, over your ankle bone and along your calf before it crossed to the outside of your thigh behind your knee. She would trace each little white bolt of lightning, branching out like a river, around your thigh, around your hip, to where they dispersed above your hip bone, the marks fading about half way across your stomach. You hand went reflexively to your left hip, almost as if you were trying to remember her hands there. You felt her heart spike across the room as you looked back up at her and realized she was staring at your hand, wrapped in its glove, hovering above your hip bone, there was a flush to her cheeks and she swallowed as her eyes stared widely at your hand. You could once again feel every beat of her heart, almost allowing yourself to get lost in it before remembering that Korra was there, instantly snapping your hand away, clasping your hands together in front of you. Lin’s eyes jerked back to yours, her cheeks growing even redder as she cleared her throat and looked away from you. She could hide her face, but it didn’t stop the fact that you could feel her heart beating. Thankfully, the water began to boil and you added the herbs, giving your hands something to do. Korra spoke up again, this time her tone considerably lighter. “So what’s in this magical tea that’s gonna help with the pain?” She said, sarcasm practically dripping from the words. You smiled, “The tea will help, but if it doesn’t I can always make you capsasin paste.” Korra looked confused as Lin gave you a chuckle at that. “What on earth is capsaicin paste?” Korra asked you incredulously. You smiled, “Oh, it’s a wonderfully effective numbing cream, it’s great for the soreness that comes from controlling energy like that. It does have a habit of making you feel like your skin is on fire for the first few minutes though.” Korra swallowed before saying, “Um, yeah, I think tea is fine.” You laughed quietly again, “I thought so. It has lavender and chamomile to relax your mind and body, which helps, and Featherfew, though you might know it as something different being from the water tribe, which will help with the pain.” You saw Lin staring at you as you turned back to them, “You remembered.” She said, a sad smile on her face. Your breath was stolen away from you once again looking at her. Of course, Korra was there to pull you out of your thoughts. “What do you mean?” She asked, turning to Lin. Lin seemed to also be brought back to reality by the girl. “Well...” she looked like a cat-deer in headlights. You quickly came to her rescue. “Chief Beifong made it for me once after I was attacked by people in the street. I found it helped with training pains as well.” It wasn’t technically a lie, she had made it for you after you were attacked, however it was made in her apartment, as opposed to the station. Lin looked at you suprized, but gave you a small smile as she nodded her thanks. Korra spoke up again. “So you’re telling me Lin has a heart?”she smirked at the Police Chief, and the smile was gone. “Only when I’m not dealing with your messes.” She quipped at the young girl.

You smiled at her dry humor as you poured out the tea, remembering how much you loved it, your heart pulled again as you realized how much you missed it. How much you missed her, everything about her, her dry humor and sharp wit, her incredible mind, the softness she used to save only for you. It all came crashing back into you like a wave, threatening to pull tears from your eyes, but you wouldn’t, you wouldn’t cry here, not in front of Lin, and certainly not in front of Korra. You blinked the tears away and set a smile in place as you brought Korra the tea, watching her take a sip. She grimaced at it and you raised your eyebrow. “It’s bitter!” She said, apparently shocked by this. “That would be the lavender.” You said to the mildly disgusted girl. “But I thought lavender was supposed to be sweet!” You rolled your eyes, “Lavendar smells sweet, it tastes a bit bitter, however I believe it’s not nearly as bad as you’re making it out to be.” The girl glares at you, “You’re not the one who has to drink it” she all but growled. You exhaled a laugh, “I’m sure Tenzin has some honey around here somewhere.” You said as you looked around the cabinets. You smiled as you found it and poured some into Korra’s cup before stirring it with a tea spoon. “This better not be worse.” The young avatar eyes you suspiciously. You smiled at her. “It’s honey, and exactly what would you do anyway?” You played with the girl a bit as you picked up the honey to put it away. “I don’t know, have Lin cuff you or something!” She yelled. You felt Lin’s heart rate triple as you nearly dropped the jar of honey you were holding. You quickly put it away as Lin spoke up, quickly trying to recover. “Unfortunately for you I do not work for the avatar, nor is giving someone unsweetened tea a criminal offense.” She said to the girl in a stern tone. Korra scoffed “But poisoning someone is!” She flailed her arms around before grimacing from the fast movement. “Yes, well, good luck with that.” You said to the girl, “drink your tea.” You finished, ending her argument. She took another sip. “Oh, it’s not bad.” The young avatar stated, seemingly pleasantly suprized. You rolled your eyes, “Its tea, now with honey, you’re going to need to learn to try new things, Korra” You chuckled. The teen mumbled and kept drinking her tea. She was quiet as she drank, however, naturally that didn’t last for long. “So, Y/N, can I ask you something?” You sighed, once again, and braced yourself. “What would you like to know” you ventured, knowing what little you did of Korra, the fact that she asked was mildly concerning. “Uhh, what happened to your hair?” Lin looked like she was about to slap her for the remark when you laughed. “My hair, you mean the white streak?” She nodded. You had gotten quite used to the question, while the majority of your hair was still it’s nautral color, you had a single white streak on the right side of your head, towards the front. While getting the peculiar strands was truly awful, you had grown to like your hair, “I was struck by lightning while learning to controll my abilities. I’ve had the white streak ever since.” Korra’s eyes went wide, “In the head?” She all but yelled, you nodded. “How did you even live?” She asked incredulously. You smiled “That is a wonderful question, that I’m still not quite sure about, but you should get some more rest, especially if you want to continue tomorrow.” The young avatar nodded and appropriately yawned, laying back down on her cushion pile now that her tea was done, you looked to Lin, she looked at you, with sadness once again marring her features “I should go.” She said, and your heart stopped once again. You nodded watching her walk to the door. You swore every time she walked away your heart broke a little bit more. You were a few feet away from her, a safe distance, but she hesitated as she looked back at you, you swollowed your emotions as she locked eyes with you. You could feel yourself fighting the urge to go to her, and she looked at your hands, beginning to shake, and you could see the tears in her eyes.


	5. Sleepless Dreams

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (Whew, this one hurt, like, a lot, some lovely warm fuzzy feelings with Jinora in this chapter, just because I felt like going her some love, but the rest is absolutely brutal, as usual, please let me know what you think and anything I could do to write better!)
> 
> (Warnings for blood and dream-death? If that’s a thing? Let me know if I should add anything else)

In the week since Lin’s last visit to Air Temple Island, you had woken up in a similar way to the day she first came, covered in sweat, panting, and wanting to scream. Your dreams were getting worse, and though you thought they would fade with a few days of being back near the city, that was not the case. They would change a bit each night, the faces, that is. It was normally your sister, but there were a few nights when it was Lin’s body on the ground, covered in her own blood. Those nights you would wake up sobbing, your arms reaching for her, even though she hadn’t been there for years. You were sleeping less and less, and although you were still plenty able to teach Korra, and your pupil was progressing quite well, the lack of rest had begun to take its toll. One night Pema had caught you down in the kitchen well after midnight, shaking and desperately clutching a cup of tea. She looked at you with pity in her eyes as she sat down to nurse the baby who had woken her. She had to know why you were awake, you were sure she and Tenzin had discussed it, and she had known you for a brief time before you had left Republic City. She never asked you what happened or made you speak about it, she just sat there with the baby, Rohan, Tenzin had told you, and drank tea with you. It was nice to have someone there, she would pat your shoulder as she left the kitchen when the baby had fallen back asleep. One night it was Jinora who came down, trodding into the kitchen for a glass of water, severely startled when she saw you. “Y/N!” She yelled, “what are you doing awake?” You jumped at the sound of the girl, but quickly recovered yourself, “I’m sorry to startle you, Jinora. I woke up, so I thought I might have some tea.” She looked at you sceptically, “You’re having tea? In the middle of the night?” You smiled at the intelligent and curious girl in front of you. “Yes, I suppose so, and what are you doing up at this time?” The girl blushed as she realized the silliness of mocking you for being up when she was in the same situation. “I was thirsty, I wanted a cup of water.” You nodded, moving to stand up. “I see, I would be happy to get you some.” You smiled once again. You did like the girl, she was much calmer than the other little airbenders, fortune had granted her her mother’s temper as opposed to her father’s. She looked at her feet on the ground, “Actually, could I have some tea, I can’t really sleep either.” You looked at the young air bender, she was shy, and seemed to not want to sit alone in her thoughts either, so you nodded, giving her another soft smile, and poured her a cup as she sat down across from your seat at the table. “I can’t sleep.” She said, as you set the cup down in front of her. You looked at the sadness on her little, yet mature face, the worry in those young eyes, and you could feel a pang in your own heart. It was easier to ignore people’s energy when it wasn’t Lin’s, but Jinora’s seemed to be reaching for you. “And why is that?” You asked her, as she nodded her thanks for the cup. “I don’t know, something just feels wrong all of a sudden, it’s like whenever I close my eyes, I think something bad is going to happen.” You listened closely to the girl, nodding your encouragement and understanding. “And it’s not like I could talk to my Father about this, he wouldn’t understand, and my mom is so busy with Rohan, and my siblings.” She hesitated before looking at you, “I guess I just don’t know who to talk to.” She hid her face as she looked down into her teacup. “Jinora,” you started gently, and her eyes snapped up to meet yours. “It’s okay to worry sometimes, some people’s minds are just a bit more active then others, we need something to focus on, and our minds will grab anything, even if we don’t want them too.” 

Her eyes widened in shock, “You mean you feel it too, I don’t know, it’s like...” she trailed off, so you finished for her. “Like you can’t turn your mind off?” You asked, and her whole body visibly relaxed as she knew you understood. “It’s okay to worry, and I know your Father does too, often actually. He told me about it when he was a bit older than you are now, and I’m sure he could help you. Many of us get that feeling sometimes, especially great benders like us.” You winked at her. She all but lit up. “You think I’m going to be a great bender?” You chuckled, “Of course, I know you are.” She jumped up, coming over to your side of the table and wrapping her arms around you. It startled you, shocked you really, there were very few people, almost none actually, who were fully aware of what you were capable of and still chose to be near you, let alone touch you. You smiled as you wrapped your hands around the girl, bringing one up to stroke her hair. “Thank you for talking with me.” She yawned, “I know people say bad things about you, but you’re really nice, Y/N.” You hummed a recognition before speaking, “I’m glad you think so Jinora, you can talk to me any time.” She squeezed you tighter as you heard a throat clear behind you. “Ahem, am I interrupting something, ladies?” Tenzin asked from the doorway, he arched his brow at you as Jinora untangled herself, “Y/N was talking to me because I couldn’t sleep, she made me feel a lot better now though.” He nodded as his oldest daughter came to hug him, “Yes, she can do that if you get close enough to her.” He chuckled, and you rolled your eyes at him. Jinora turned to you before heading back to bed, “Thank you for the tea, and the talk, I feel much better now.” You nodded to her as she walked out the door. Tenzin looked at you, “Is she alright?” He asked, concerned for his daughter. You nodded, “She will be, I think she just needed someone to talk to for a bit.” He nodded, knowing you well enough to know you would keep his girl’s secrets, but would tell him if she was in any real danger. He looked at you closely again, almost inspecting you. “Are you alright.” You chuckled and nodded, taking another sip of tea. “Y/N, Pema told me you’ve been down here for the past few nights, and I know you well enough to know you’re not doing your best, when was the last time you had a full night’s sleep?” He asked, and you looked away from him, you knew it was bad, there were bags under your eyes and your muscles ached from tiredness. You sighed. “I’m alright, I just need some time is all, I knew the dreams would get worse if I came back but..” you trailed off. But Tenzin caught you, “Y/N.” You shook your head, “Sometimes they’re about her Tenzin, I close my eyes and I see Lin laying there, covered in blood, and it’s my fault.” You began to choke on your words as the images of her dead body came back to you. You fought the tears back as you spoke. “They will fade, they faded before, it just takes time.” Tenzin looked at you with pity and sorrow in his eyes. “Y/N, you can’t keep doing this, you have to sleep, can you imagine what would happen if you keep going on like this, if Korra made a mistake while you were training and you weren’t fast enough to catch it?” You shook your head swiftly and decisively, “It won’t come to that, I’m still perfectly fine, and in control, if I doubted that for a second I wouldn’t put her or anyone at risk.” He nodded, but you could see the doubt in his eyes. “Sleep, Y/N, you need it.” You sighed as you both got up to leave the kitchen, you heading back to your room to attempt to sleep without dreams of blood and those you loved dying. 

Since you and Tenzin had spoken, you made sure to at least try to sleep each night, but even then, you were awoken by the dreams. And you would try not to scream as you saw blood cover silver hair and pale scars, the life fading from the Jade eyes you loved. Last night had been one such dream, and you were still reeling when you went to meet Korra for training this morning. You had gotten maybe an hour last night, and even then it was fitful, you told her that today would be a light day, and she seemed relieved. She had made some progress, but bending like this wasn’t easy on anybody, especially when they were learning it. You worked together for a few hours before you came in, Korra passing out as usual, and this time it was Pema who had made you your favorite tea as you walked into the kitchen. You smiled at the mother and thanked her as you siped. Jinora came to you and sat beside you. “Y/N, could I ask you something?” You nodded to the girl leaning against you, she had taken to hanging on you a bit, but you didn’t mind, it was sweet to watch her grab onto you if she needed some comfort. “Of course, what’s on your mind Jinora?” You asked. She bounced a bit on her heels, and you quirked you’re brow. “Could I play with your hair?” The question, needless to say shocked you. Sure people had always pointed out your hair, it was quite long, and your white streak often attracted attention, but you had only ever let Lin touch it. Pema looked at her daughter with surprise, but looked to you for an answer. You nodded, “If you like.” You reached up behind you and let it down, the hair falling over your shoulders and the chair behind you. Jinora seemed excited as she stepped behind you, you knew she just needed something to do with her hands, and she seemed to feel comforted by you, so you let her run her fungers through the strands, twisting them this way and that into a few different styles. Your exhaustion got the better of you and you must have drifted off at some point, as unbeknownst to you, Lin had come to check on the Avatar’s progress once again, and had found you asleep on a chair in the kitchen, with Jinora behind you and Pema cooking dinner. Her eyes widened as she stared at you, your head tilted back, hair all the way down so Jinora could have free reign over it. Your eyes were closed and your lips parted slightly, but what drew her attention was the look on your face. It kept shifting, Pema was too far away and Jinora was behind you, but Lin had gone to stand across from you and where your chair had been pulled out from the table when she came in to speak with Pema. She watched as your brows twisted, your mouth grimaced and your jaw clenched as your eyes darted back and forth behind your lids. The only sign you were about to wake up was a tiny “no” that escaped your mouth, falling from your lips like a desperate cry. You gasped as you woke up, immediately springing forward from the chair and yelling. “Don’t hurt her!” You shook as you looked around, realizing where you were, the kitchen, with everyone in it. Lin was directly in front of you, and you bit back a sob as you saw her standing there, unharmed, shock and concern on her face, so much different that what you had seen moments before. You turned to see Jinora looking at you with shock across her features. “I’m so sorry,” you stuttered “I must have fallen asleep.” Jinora relaxed a bit, but still looked worried. “What happened?” She asked, seemingly concerned. You sighed “I dream, sometimes, about people I loved who were hurt, or could be hurt.” You added, and the girl nodded, it was Pema who saved you. “Y/N is fine, Jinora, how about you come help me make dinner.” The girl nodded and went to her mother as you quickly turned to leave the room. 

You made it out the door before your legs buckled, leaving you nearly flat on the floor as you gasped for breaths. “She’s fine, she’s alright, you saw her.” You spoke to yourself, your mind starting to run wild and your energy quickly picking up and draining what little you had to shift into lightning as your body panicked. “You saw her standing there, right in front of you, Lin is fine. She’s fine.” You felt the tears begin to burn your eyes, your breath coming impossibly quicker, you didn’t even notice someone walk up behind you until there were arms around you, strong, gentle arms, that held you close, but didn’t crush you, you sobbed into the embrace, your body giving in as you turned into it. You don’t know how long you were there, just crying, before you turned yourself into the person behind you, letting them rub little circles on your back with their thumbs, you nuzzled into her neck, nearly whimpering at the familiar scent, slowly regaining your breath. “They hurt you. I sleep and they hurt you, they cut and cut, and there’s blood and there’s nothing I can do.” You mumbled, clinging onto her for dear life. “I know” she said, and Lin’s voice seemed a mile away but it snapped you out of your thoughts, bringing you back to the real world, the real world, where Lin wasn’t yours and you weren’t supposed to get close to her. You jumped away from her, stumbling on your exausted limbs, nearly falling as she caught you again, this time standing. You looked at her eyes as you backed away. Those jade eyes, once again full of pain, mirroring your own. “I’m sorry. I am so, so sorry. I didn’t mean to, I, I don’t know what, I...” Lin’s eyes all but cut into you, and it stopped you cold. “You still have the dreams?” You nodded, “about your sister?” She asked, and it was sympathy, not annoyance in her voice. “Sometimes,” you swallowed as you took a step back from her, trying to put some distance between the two of you. “Sometimes it’s you” Lin took a sharp intake of breath as you felt her heart speed up. “Me?” She asked, “Why would you dream about me?” You could feel her energy leaning towards you in a way, and you desperately wanted to crawl back into her arms and stay there forever, but she was the Chief of Police, and you, you would destroy the life she had worked so hard to build. Everything she had worked for could be taken away, and you would have to be a monster to let that happen. You looked at her with defeat and desperation in your eyes, “You know why, and you know why I can’t let you help, please, don’t make this any harder.” She took a step closer, then another, and her hands were almost touching you, “Please,” you whispered, “They will take everything from you, just like they tried to.” You whimpered as her hand reached for your face. You looked away, “It’s not worth it.” You said to her, and your heart seemed to shatter, your body, your mind, your soul, all yearned for this woman, needed her, tears fell from your eyes as you saw pain in hers. You could feel her heart pounding, and your energy reacting to each beat, it didn’t hurt, no, it burned inside you, everything burned for the woman in front of you, lightning crackling in your very core. You pulled away, turning before you let yourself see her reaction, desperate to escape what you were feeling. “I, I can’t let them do that to you, please Lin, please just let go, be happy, spirits! Live your life! Find someone you can have without ruining everything!” You wrapped your arms around yourself as tears streamed down your face, still refusing to look at her. “I can’t.” she said, her voice cracking on the words, and you shook your head as you walked away. Your body shaking as your heart was once again destroyed.


	6. Pain is the Price We Pay

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You make it you your room after talking with Lin in the hallway, but your abilities and your feelings towards Lin finally catch up with you.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ohhhhh my god I thought the last chapter was bad holy hell what did I just write??? I’m sorry? I don’t know, this one is rough, whole way through, prepare for the pain, I was not kidding when I came up with the chapter title here!
> 
> Warnings for anxiety attack, kind of self harm (but she can’t really control it) and a nosebleed, you read that right, a nosebleed. I don’t know, it has blood in it, I feel like I should warn people.

You made it to your room, your plain room with your things mostly tucked away in the cupboard, your room with the cool floor, where it was just you. Your own little world. You forced yourself to take deep breaths, already feeling the telltale crackling of lightning at your fingertips under your gloves. You tried to pull yourself together, but every time you closed your eyes, you saw Lin in front of you. Suddenly your room was too bright, there was too much, everything was too much. You tried to force it down, but the energy of your lightning was already running through your body. The room began to spin and you felt sick. You saw flashes of Lin, all the little moments you had with her, and the flashes began to reflect in your body as well. You knew what was happening, what was about to happen, but it didn’t make it any easier. You heard someone call your name, but you had already shut your door, you braced yourself as everything seemed to stop for a moment. A moment of calm before the storm, the breath before the scream, the static before the lightning. You knew you were strong enough to contain it, but there would be a price, and you waited for it to hit. And it did. Pain twisted and wrapped around your body, your muscles spasamed and your heart felt like it would explode. Excruciating didn’t even begin to cover what you felt. You doubled over as your body was consumed by its own abilities. You took a ragged breath as you tried not to scream, there was wetness on your face, dripping into your mouth, you realized you nose must be bleeding. Your limbs gave out as you fell to the ground, a short scream left your body as you collapsed. Writhing in agony. It never seemed to stop, and this one was bad. You were sobbing, and you heard a loud bang from somewhere, but you couldn’t tell, you tried to open your eyes, but you couldn’t get your body to let you. Your limbs twisted and spasamed endlessly as lightning seemed to courve through your very veins. Your throat seemed dry and raw, and you could feel tears still streaming down your face. You just wanted it to stop. You hadn’t had an attack this bad in years, hadn’t hurt yourself like this since you left Lin. You left her. You left her all alone to figure out what to do with nothing but a letter. You felt the cold ground on your face, and the pain redoubled as more images of Lin flashed in your mind. You didn’t know how much more you could take. White hot energy carved through you, and you sobbed, desperately hoping it would end. You felt hands on your back, slow hands running up and down, side to side, then circles. Patterns, patterns helped. You could hear her voice, maybe it was all in your head, you didn’t know if that would be better or worse. “Breathe” she said, “Just breathe.” You felt yourself the lifted off the ground as the pain began to subside, however your body continued to spasm and your eyes wouldn’t open. There was no sharp pain now, just dull aching and discomfort when your limbs would jerk or your back would arch. You were set down on the bed, and you could feel her there. Her hands were in your hair, oh, you forgot how much you missed that. You gasped and whimpered as your body continued to betray you, but you could hear her speaking to you. “You can let go, it’s alright, you don’t have to hold it in like that.” Lin’s voice felt like a balm on your soul. Her hands pressed hard into the points on your scalp and your neck where the energy seemed to gather the most. Her hands worked down your shoulders and your upper arms. You loved when she touched you, and you hated yourself for it. How dare you, how dare you make it this hard on her. She shouldn’t have to see you like this, she shouldn’t have to deal with the pain you put yourself in. “Get out of your head, come back to me.” You heard her voice above you. You could feel yourself nod, and you felt her lift you once again. Your bed was up against the wall, she leaned on it and pulled you up against her, cradling you, and you sobbed even more as your body began to allow you to move again.

She held you to herself with one hand and began to trace invisible lines on your body with another. You were pressed against her, her breath moving you ever so slightly with each inhale, creating a steady rythym. A piece of cloth wiped the blood from under your nose. You sighed and tried to open your eyes. Everything was fuzzy, but you could see she had covered the window and shut the door. So she remembered how sensitive you were sfter an episode then. Somehow that hurt more. Your voice croaked as you spoke. “I’m sorry” you felt her stiffen as she cut you off. “Don’t you dare.” There was such conviction in her voice, strength you didn’t have. You could feel the vibrations of it through your whole body when she spoke. “There are things you should apologize for, but this, this is not one of them.” You nodded as your body began to become heavy while the spasming died down. You watched her left hand trace patterns on your arm, as the other held you tightly around the waist. You noticed something then. And it shocked you. “You never...” her ring finger was bare, she either wasn’t wearing a ring or never married. “No ring.” You said simply, and you felt her sigh behind you, “No.” she didn’t need to say more. But perhaps you needed her to, you wanted her to say she had moved on, you wanted her to be happy, you needed her to be happy, or else, what was this all for? “Did you ever..” the words caught in your throat. She knew what you were asking, and she waited a moment before giving an answer. “No.” She paused, but the short word had caused vibrations through her body that made you shiver. You sat in silence as you waited to see if she would say more. “How could I?” She asked. You didn’t understand, but you were too drained to say more. Her hand came lower on your arm, to the edge of your gloves and you stiffened. She felt it, but ignored it anyway. She ran her finger over the edge before taking her hand to the fingers to pull them off. You gasped and your eyes went wide as you realized she was taking your gloves off. You shook your head as much as you could. “No.” You begged her, you could still hurt her accidentally, even after all you had just done. After she pulled the fingers off, she grabbed them to take the glove off of your left hand completely. “Stop, please, please, don’t.” You all but sobbed and fresh tears came to your eyes, but she ripped the glove off anyway. She didn’t try to touch your bare skin, she just stared. You shook a bit as you waited. You were terrified, truly terrified. If you touched her, you could still hurt her, severely. If she touched you, you didn’t know what would happen. She finally spoke. “You didn’t either, then.” You didn’t understand, you swallowed thickly, as your voice began to shake. “What?” She sighed, her breath ghosting your shoulder, causing you to shiver even more. “You never married, no ring.” It was a statement more than anything. You shook your head, dropping you hand away from hers into your lap, letting your eyes close again. “No, no I did not.” You could feel her shift slightly, but she didn’t prepare you for what she did next. Lin took you hand in hers, she touched your skin, not just your skin, but the very place where you were most likely to hurt someone. You gasped and whimpered at the contact. She was torturing you, that was the only explanation. “Stop, I could...” your mind went completely blank as she began to trace patterns again, this time on your bare skin. Your head fell back into her shoulder as she grazed the pulse point of your wrist. “I don’t, I could lose control again, stop, please.” Your words came out little more than a pained whisper. She continued her patterns. “You won’t, you never hurt me. Not once, over all the years, you even lost control with Tenzin once, but you never hurt me.” You could feel her words on your back, her breath on your jaw. Each word sending shockwaves through your entire being.

You shook your head as your eyes closed and your breath became ragged. “You can’t do this” you gasped as she traced invisible maps of energy on your palm. She shook her head. “When was the last time someone touched your skin?” Now you shook your head, but you couldn’t speak. You whimpered as her thumb brushed over your wrist once again. “I don’t, it was..” you felt like you couldn’t breathe, “it was you.” You could feel her gasp, her movements stopped as she realized what you just said. “Y/N.” You shook your head again. “No one else?” You felt a tear run down your face, she pushed you away to look at you. “You haven’t let anyone else touch you?” You were faced with the full weight of her Jade eyes, boring into you. Her voice was low, seemingly shocked. Her eyes struck you once again, down to your very core. You almost laughed, “I never did.” She already knew how you were when you were younger, but to continue all these years, to never let anyone close, tears came to her eyes and you had to look away. “We can’t do this.” You said. “We really can’t do this. It’s only going to make it worse, for both of us.” You sighed, “You could have a normal life, you need someone who you can be with.” You laughed ruefully, “look at what you’ve done! Tenzin writes me every season, you’ve accomplished so much as Chief of Police. It’s what you always wanted!” You felt like a child speaking to her, desperately begging her to say you did the right thing. “Is it?” she asked you, her face and voice deadly serious. “Is it what I always wanted, you thought it was only possible without you?” She might as well have hit you, the air was gone from your lungs anyway. “Lin.” She cut you off, “Y/N.” She shook her head. “You left Republic City so I could be Chief of Police, so that I could have that. Did you ask?” She looked at you and you closed you eyes, “No, don’t you dare,” she reached out and grabbed your face, forcing you to look at her. You gasped as her hand grabbed you, your skin still burning. “You never gave me a choice, Y/N.” Normally her touch wouldn’t have been more than a reminder, but your eyes squeezed shut and you gave a short groan of pain as her fingers grazed one of the spots still sensitive from your episode. She let go as soon as she realized what she was doing. “I’m sorry.” You opened your eyes to find panic in hers. “Spirits, I’m sorry, I wasn’t thinking, I didn’t realize it would still hurt.” You shook your head and she quieted down, but her eyes still scanned your face for any sign of discomfort. “You were right.” You said to her. “I never gave you the choice. Because how could I force you to choose?” Her eyes softened as she looked at you. “Things have changed since then, the city is different now.” You shook your head once again, “Not that different.” Her eyes we’re begging you, you could see the pain in them, the desperation. You were less than a foot away, sitting on your bed, it would be so easy to lean over, to touch her, to kiss her again. You steeled yourself before you spoke. “We can’t, Lin, we both know that. You should go.” She looked at you with shock, “Y/N...” you cut her off. “No, if we do this, I can’t, I just can’t, I need you to go.” You watched her stand, watched her walk the the door once again. When she turned back to you there were tears in her eyes. “We could find a way, Y/N, I would fight for you.” You felt tears sting you eyes as you nodded, “I know, I know. But you shouldn’t have to. The city decided what I am a long time ago, I don’t need to drag you down.” She left, closing the door behind her, and you curled up under your blankets, clutching them to yourself as your body finally gave in to exhaustion, surrounded by the scent of Lin.


	7. The Return

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When disaster strikes you’re forced to face what you’ve dreaded for years, the city itself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (Hahahahaha! Yay! It’s not AS sad, ok, I’m not telling you much this time, go read!)
> 
> (Warnings for violence, blood, death, etc. you don’t like fights, this one is not for you.)

It’s Tenzin who gains the courage to knock on your door first. “Come in.” You reply, still in your bed. He enters and shuts the door behind him. You can see the panic in his face from across the room, he’s scared for you, it’s almost sweet. Your body still aches and you don’t want to move. But you do your best to sit up against the wall, wincing and sucking air through your teeth as you do so. “Y/N?” He says your name like a question, it’s his way of asking if you’re well enough to speak. Tenzin had never been around the direct aftermath of an episode, but when you lived with him and his father he had seen some of it. He had been there on the days you wouldn’t leave your room, and the days you couldn’t. “It’s alright, I won’t be able to work with Korra tomorrow though, would you tell her I apologize? She doesn’t need to see this.” He looks at you strangely, scanning your face and what he can see of your body. “Y/N, tell me how to help you, tell me what to do to make it easier.” You smile sadly at him, Tenzin had always been sweet, if a bit neurotic at times, “There’s not much too do, you were there when I was training, you know episodes can happen. It’s part of living with it. I can live a normal life for the most part, but my body and mind never got to slowly learn and accommodate what I can do, you know that. If you rip something open, you can mend it, but sometimes it will still leak.” He nodded, he had already known the answer, but he needed to ask. “Can you eat?” He questioned you gently, you nodded, “Do you have any broth, if it’s not too much trouble old friend?” You asked him with a smile, he nodded and left your room, returning some time later with a bowl for you to sip at, he let you drink, sitting with you while you did, and took the bowl when you were done, leaving you to rest. It was Pema who came in what you would guess to be a few hours later, the sun had set shortly after Tenzin left, and it was well past dark now. She brought you the tea you had made for Korra after her first lesson. The same one you had made for Jinora when she couldn’t sleep. “The girls made it for you.” Pema smiled, “I told them you weren’t feeling well, I don’t know how much they understand, but they insisted I bring it to you.” You smiled up at the woman, again sitting up to drink. “You’re daughter is sweet, there’s much potential in her, and Korra is lucky to have you, Pema. We all are.” She laughed gently, “Ah yes, you’re all my girls.” You quirked a brow as you sipped. “I believe I’m quite a few years older than you, Pema.” You chuckled. The woman smiled at you, “Maybe, but you’re not a mother.” You sighed, you supposed she had a point, and you knew better than to argue with the woman. “Nor do I have any intentions of being.” You smiled at her again. “Thank you.” You paused, “I have much to thank you for, but thank you for this, and thank you for welcoming me into your home, I know it can’t have been easy.” She shook her head, “I knew what you were capable of from the beginning, and I also knew that you would never hurt my family, you’re stronger than you think, Y/N.” You chuckled, “We shall see.” After that Pema left, giving you time to sleep. You slept through the night, for the first time in a while. You woke in the late morning when Tenzin brought you more broth, this time with some vegetables, and you ate it happily. You fell back asleep again, letting your body recover, outside work, such as what you did with Korra had little effect on you, sure it was tiring, as all bending is, but it didn’t hurt you. When you internalized your bending was when you got hurt, it wasn’t the lightning, it was when you forced it inwards. You’re body was recovering well, and the pain had mostly gone, but you knew it was better to rest for now, and you had already given Korra the day off, so you did your best to sleep, drifting in and out of consciousness throughout the day. Pema brought you something to eat for lunch, a bit more substantial this time, before you went back to sleep once again. It was quiet, dreamless sleep, nothing but black.

You woke when Tenzin burst into your from suddenly, Panic on his face, something was wrong. “Y/N.” He said, his voice laced with fear, you wasted no time, “What happened, Tenzin.” He shook his head, shock across his features. “Korra went to help, but I don’t know what happened, they just radio’d to say that they needed backup, Spirits, the poor officer’s voice, they must have thought she was invincible.” He was panicking, his words coming out quick and confusing. “Tenzin!” You shouted, attempting to bring him back to reality. “She was out on patrol I think, I don’t know how it happened, but the Triad took her, Tripple Threat Triad.” He shook his head again, and you could feel your pulse quickening despite your confusion. “Took who, Tenzin, what is going on?” He shook his head, the man looked like he might cry, “They got Lin, Y/N.” Your blood ran cold. You could feel your heart being ripped out of your chest, but you didn’t speak, you sprang up and flung open your cupboard, you knew you had brought it with you, there. You took out the black leather pants first, quickly putting them on, the buckles made out of non-conductive material, you slipped on the tank-sleeved top, made of the same material, before grabbing the wrappings and beginning you bind your forearms. “Where, Tenzin?” You asked, his face paled as he saw you in your old suit, he had only seen it once, when he had seen you training, the day you nearly flattened him when he suprized you. He stuttered and shook his head, you finished your left arm and went on to your right. “Where, Tenzin, now!” You yelled again, snapping him out of it. “I don’t know exactly, somewhere In the werehouse district, near where...” he trailed off, “near where the incident happened.” You tied off the leather strap on your right arm and pulled your hair back, your signature white stripe showing on the right side of your head. “How long ago did it happen?” You asked him, already out the door, forcing him to trail behind you, you had promised yourself you would never go back to Republic City, but there was no choice, not now. “The call came a few minutes ago, they were asking for Korra.” You cut him off as you headed for the temple’s exit. “Has she gone yet?” You asked as you broke into a run, forgetting any leftover exhaustion or soreness you had. “I don’t know, you might be able to catch her.” You burst through the doors in time to catch Korra mounting Naga. She looked shocked to see you to say the least, but her expression changed when she saw your face. “I’m coming with you, how fast can we get there, and do you know exactly where she is?” You asked the young avatar, and she stared at you in shock, mounting Naga and beckoning you to join. You climbed onto the Polarbear-dog quickly, and the three of you took off, leaving Tenzin behind. You sat behind Korra as she guided Naga as quickly as possible, “It should only take a few minutes to get there, and I have an idea of where they have her.” You nodded as you raced across the bridge to the city, “And where is that?” You asked the girl as the wind whipped past you. “There’s am abandoned werehouse area, I think you might be familiar with it, actually, they rebuilt it after the storm, it’s a gang hotspot now, right in the middle of Triad territory.” You nodded again as you got closer, your heart pounding as you entered the city once again, but it didn’t matter now, the only thing that mattered now was making sure Lin was safe, and you would do whatever you had to. Korra spoke to you again. “I’ve never seen you with your skin uncovered, no gloves either?” She called as she raced to the warehouse area. “Gloves won’t help much tonight, not if we have to fight.” Korra looked over her shoulder at you. “I didn’t know you could fight.” She called, buildings whipping by, “because I didn’t have to, especially not in front of you.” You answered. Your heart raced faster and faster as you got closer, you would get there in time, you had to, you were going to find her, this wouldn’t be like what happened to your sister, no, you were going to stop it.

Korra pulled Naga up to a building you almost recognized, it looked quite similar to the original, before it had been destroyed. You realized where you were, and memories of your sister came flooding back, but you couldn’t think about that now, no, right now you needed to get to Lin. You and Korra entered the building as quietly as you could, it was largely empty, before making your way to a huge empty space, most likely what was meant to be a warehouse now used for gang activity. Your heart stopped as you saw Lin, kneeling on the ground with her hands bound behind her, chi blockers in the corner of the room, behind someone you recognized, but it couldn’t be, it wasn’t possible. The boy you had seen all those years ago, the boy who had slit your sister’s throat in front of you, now a man, standing over Lin. “Hello, Chief, tell me, how did you end up in my territory alone, death wish maybe?” He chucked, you couldn’t see Lin’s face, but the sound of her voice made you want to cry out, she was hoarse, she had probably been beaten before this, you knew how these gangs worked, you grew up around them, it was about intimidation and power moves, they were trying to press her, for what, you didn’t know. “Cut the shit, Zolt, what are you gonna do? Kill me?” Zolt, that was the name, the name of the boy, the man now, and you could see his face as he killed your sister, and you could see how it had morphed into the man in front of you. The room had about fifteen men in it, you were lucky no one had noticed you sneaking in, you could feel Korra tense beside you, getting ready to strike, you laid you hand on her forearm, shaking your head when she looked at you, “Just wait,” you whispered, “the less you’re involved the better, I know what they do, he can spin it later if you attack.” The young girl rolled her eyes but nodded, standing back. You could hear Zolt laughing in front of you, and could see him all but spitting in Lin’s face, your anger flowed through your veins, quickly charging into what could be white hot lightning at a moments notice. You took a deep breath and found Lin’s heartbeat, doing your best to focus on it, you closed your eyes and breathed, taking your shoes off, the more of your body you could connect to the ground, the better. You saw Zolt raise his arm to strike Lin, and that when you moved, you stepped out from the shadows, revealing yourself, whole Korra remained hidden. “Stop.” You called to the man, who whipped his head up to look at you, eyes wide. “And who the spirits are you, pretty lady? What are you gonna do about it?” He laughed, “Some rookie cop come to save the Cheif, you don’t even have your uniform on.” He gestured his hand and a few men moved towards you, at least two of which were chi blockers, but it was hard to tell. “I wouldn’t, if I were you.” You said both to the ones moving towards you and the man in front of you. He laughed again. “It has been awhile, the warehouse has been rebuilt, and we’ve grown up, but not everything has changed.” Zolt looked at you confused, you could feel Lin’s heartbeat quicken as you stepped closer, but she couldn’t turn to face you, you needed to see her face, she needed to be okay. You would get her out, that’s what mattered. “What’s wrong Zolt, don’t recognize me anymore? I suppose we only met once, it was my sister you knew for longer.” You eyed the men getting closer, they were aiming to circle around you, you quickly found the energy of each of them, there were six, all coming around you, they didn’t know you were dangerous yet, and they were moving into position quickly, you just had to wait, the circle was almost complete. You took another step forward as they began to close in, Zolt watching you closely. “Shall I jog your memory?” You asked, stalling another second, and, there. The men had gotten into position, an almost perfect circle around you, they thought surrounding you would make you easy to capture, and they were right, only they didn’t realize you wanted them to. 

As the men stepped in, breaking into a run towards you all at once, you planted your feet on the ground, taking a deep breath. It was at that moment Lin turned, her Jade eyes met yours, and shock spread across her features once again. She looked panicked, she didn’t know what you were going to do, but you braced yourself and took a deep breath, just before you let go. As soon as the men got close enough, you released the energy coiling inside of you, creating a brilliant dome of light, striking them all simultaneously. You directed the lightning out your hands and around, instantly incapacitating all six men, leaving them smoking on the floor. You saw Lin’s eyes go impossibly wider, you had been away for nineteen years, and in that time you had become a master. Your emotions had always powered your bending, and now, with Lin in front of you, you were never stronger. “Tell me, Zolt, does that ring a bell?” You asked, looking to the man in front of Lin. His mouth hung agape, the nine remaining men behind him shaking, and he himself gasping for air. “It’s not possible.” He said, the words came out quiet. You shook your head. “Do you remember me now? How about my sister.” Now he shook his head. “There’s no way, you left.” You chuckled, “Unfortunately for you, I’m back. And you’ve done it again.” He looked at you in shock, swallowing shakily. “What have I done again?” He asked, his voice wavering. “You’ve hurt someone I love, Zolt. Do you remember how that ended last time?” He seemed to snap back to reality as you continued to walk closer, each step taking you closer to Lin, just a few more feet now. “You killed my father. You almost blazed three blocks.” You nodded once, “And yet you made it out?” You shook your head as you saw his face begin to turn red, he was angry, good, a raging bender was unfocused, an angry one on the other hand, specifically an angry one with someone to protect, was deadly accurate. “I’ve gotten much better since then, the city will not pay for whatever happens tonight.” Zolt reared, and you watched as he shifted his weight back to attack, “No, but you will!” He yelled, springing forward, shooting fire at you, you were almost dieectly behind Lin now. You flipped over her, landing easily on your feet in front of her, redirecting the fire like it was nothing. One of the men behind Zolt tried to strike you with water, you ducked, letting it lash out over your head, not before reaching up and releasing lightning into the water, electrocuting the bender connected to it, one down, eight to go, and Zolt. Zolt reared at you again, now in tandem with another fire bender, you whipped around, redirecting their combined fire back at them, Zolt jumped out of the way, but the other bender wasn’t as quick. Seven. You could feel someone trying to come up behind you, and you turned in time to see a chi blocker, you flipped yourself backwards before sliding back enough to release a strike on him, lightning errupting from your fingertips, taking him down. Six. Two earthbenders came at you from either side of Zolt. Earthbenders were the hardest for you, you couldn’t use their own attacks against them, not unless you were smart, you twisted and doged the boulders hurled your way, weaving closer, you needed to get close, you slid under another mass of earth, practically at their feet, as you collected the energy above the two of them, quickly striking them down with a flash of light. Five. Four. The final three were easy, they had stayed together, making them not much more than targets. You brought your arms back before releasing a massive wave of lightning, crackling and crashing from your fingertips towards the pertrified gangsters. Three. Two. One. That left you with Zolt, his eyes went wide once again as you rounded on him, circling each other slowly, like sharks waiting to feast. He shook in front of you. “I watched you cut my sister open in front of me, and I’ve seen it many nights since then, and now, now you take the woman I love, block her, beat her, and bind her. What do you think I’m going to do?” 

You could feel Lin’s heart rate change again when You said it, but you didn’t have time for that right now. Zolt threw his arms towards you, forcing lightning out of his body, you met him crackle for crackle, bolt for bolt as you went up against him, your lightning meeting in the middle. You pushed forward, forcing him back, and back, and back, but what would it take? You locked eyes with Lin, hers full of fear, not just for her, but for you, and that pushed you, you forced Zolt back, your lightning driving his back into him, forcing him to electrocute himself. He fell to the ground and it was over, that was it. Now he was just a body smoking on the floor, like the others around you. You knew you were deadly, so did Lin, but killing was another thing entirely. You ran to Lin and untied her as quickly as possible. You moved around so you were kneeling right in front of her. “I know I swore I would stay away, but I couldn’t sit there. Not when they had you.” You stared at her, breathless, holding her in your arms, she had a black eye and a split lip, but she was alive. “Spirits Lin, I can’t, I can’t stay away from you.” There were tears in your eyes and your voice broke as you cupped her face, inspecting each mark before staring back into her eyes. “I can’t.” She looked up at you, her voice breaking. “You fought for me, let me do the same.” You stared at her for a moment, a moment that felt like eternity, as you searched her eyes for any sign of doubt, but all you found was conviction. Her hands went to your waist and she pulled you close, your breath leaving your body, you could feel her heart beating away, almost as if it were your own. You were so close to her, you could feel her breath on your face. And you broke, you snapped and let go, in the middle of this building in a place you had once destroyed, you nodded. Your hands cupped her face as you leaned into her, your lips meeting again, for the first time in years, your heart danced as you kissed her, her hands wound around your back and yours went into her hair. You kissed her like the world was ending, like you needed it to breathe. You kissed her like she was everything, and to you, she was. You heard someone mutter behind her “holy shit.” You looked up to see Korra staring at the two of you. “Oh my spirits, it all makes so much sense now.” You let out a breathless laugh as you looked at her before looking back down at Lin. Her hand reached up to your face, wiping away a tear you didn’t even know you had shed. “I love you.” You said to her, whispered like a confession, or a prayer. She looked deep into your eyes, “I know, I love you.” You helped her up as best you could, lifting her to her feet and helping her to Naga. She needed to get to a healer, and there would be aftermath of your adventure into the city tomorrow, but for tonight, you were by her side.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> PS. 
> 
> I have literally never written a kiss before, so please tell me how that was, I have no idea what I’m doing here.


	8. The Aftermath

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You wait with Lin to see what will become of the mess you have made, and to see if it will be worth it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally! We’re here! This will be the last chapter, I’ve so enjoyed writing this, and I’ve gotten a ton of love for it, so thank you to everyone reading! I hope you enjoyed it!

Lin slept, you watched her while she slept, only inches away. You and Korra had brought a healer to her as quickly as you could after getting her to the safety of air temple island. You hadn’t left her side for a moment, you sat in a chair by her bed as the healer worked, desperate to do something, to help her. It was like torture, seeing her like this, with her body bruised and beaten. You stayed there when the healer had left after doing what she could. Lin would recover, but it would take time. So you sat by her side as she slept. Pema would bring you food and water, you never touched it. Tenzin came to check on you both a few times, and Korra even came once, she stood in the corner, looking at you holding her hand. “What happened?” She asked you, and you shook your head. “People can be cruel, Korra, and the people of this city hated me, I’m sure they still do, spirits, I deserve it. But they would have dragged her down with me. I couldn’t let that happen.” Korra looked at you both in suprise, “You loved her,” you nodded as she paused, “but you left to protect her.” You nodded again. The girl almost laughed “It’s hard to imagine someone trying to protect Lin, I mean, she’s Lin!” You smiled down at the sleeping form next to you before looking back up at the young avatar, “We’re not invincible, Korra, none of us are. You know that.” Korra nodded as she took in your words. “I’ve never seen anyone fight like that.” You tilted your head, “I’ve seen a lot of fighting, but I have never seen anyone fight like that.” She paused for a moment, seemingly measuring her words. “You weren’t afraid, I mean you were, you were afraid they would hurt her, that’s why you did it, but.” She paused again. “You weren’t afraid to die.” She looked at you strangely. “You weren’t afraid to die for her.” You shook your head, a soft smile on your face. “No, I wasn’t.” The avatar looked at you in amazement. “It was soooo cool though! How did you even do all that? I mean that was like six guys at once! And then the benders, and you took all of them, it was incredible!” You chuckled softly as the girl went on, freezing when you heard a voice beside you. “She never showed you how she could fight then, huh?” Lin said, and you stared at her in relief, smiling as she looked at you. “Hi.” You said to her, your eyes threatening to tear up once again. “Hi.” She said to you, squeezing your hand gently, a smile gracing her face. And oh god, her smile. Her smile took your breath away, you had felt your heart break at the sight of her so many times, but now it bloomed. Korra looked between the two of you. “Oh no, this is not good, this is bad, actually, this is very bad.” You looked at her quizzically as Lin raised her brow. “Two of the most powerful benders ever, and BOTH of them are trying to keep me out of trouble!” You laughed at the girl “I am never getting away with anything again!” She yelled, before fear spread across her face, “Don’t become a cop, Y/N, I am begging you, don’t become a cop.” Now both you and Lin laughed, together, and it felt like home. “You have nothing to worry about Korra, I can promise you I will never become a cop.” You shook your head at the girl. “Wait! Does this mean you’re going to be Y/N Beifong now? Or would Lin take your name, what happens now, I mean, with you, I’m very confused.” Your eyes went wide as Lin sucked in a deep breath, just as Tenzin burst through the door. “Korra!” He yelled, his face almost as red as his robes. “Do you have any idea how personal that is, how disrespectful you are being?” Lin smirked as you all but snickered. “Besides, they’re finally talking to eachother, so if you scare one of them off, so help me, I will send you back to the poles and you will never be seen again!” Now it was your and Lin’s turn to be shocked. Thankfully Pema walked in, the room was beginning to get a bit crowded, “And this is when both of you leave Lin to rest and Y/N to stay with her, thank you, children, you’ve done enough.” You looked to Lin before the two of you burst out laughing looking at Korra and Tenzin’s faces. 

Pema set down some water and dumpling soup, as well as some rolls before she left the room, ushering the other two away with her. You sighed and looked at Lin. “You scared me.” You said to her, taking one of the bowls into your hands before setting it in your lap. Lin looked up at you. “You scared me, when you came in there, I was sure they were going to kill you.” You shook your head as you held up a spoonful of soup. “You have such little faith in me, you know?” You brought the spoon to her mouth and she scowled at you. “I can feed myself perfectly fine, you know?” You just hummed and fed her anyway. You knew Lin would never admit it, but she did like to be taken care of, you both did at times. “I don’t have little faith in you, I just worry about you. You’re not a cop, you don’t like to fight, you could be killed.” You brought the spoon back to the bowl again, as she shook her head, “I know you hate hurting people, you hate to fight, you never even fought back when people would come after you.” You shook your head, “I hate loosing you more, much more.” She sighed before looking at you nervously. “What you said, in the werehouse, I would understand if it was just adrenaline. There was a lot happening, I’m sure you did, at one point but.” You cut her off with a look. “I meant every word, and I still do.” Now there were tears in her eyes, “After all these years?” She asked, and you smiled softly, “I loved you then, I love you now, I always will.” You went to wipe a tear from her eye with your gloved hand, Jinora had brought them to you with a shirt to cover your arms when you had brought Lin back, but Lin stopped you. “Take them off.” She said, her voice said it as a statement, but her eyes showed you she was asking. You sighed as you looked at her. “Are you certain?” You asked her, and she nodded. You placed the bowl of soup onto the table next to you before looking, once again, at your gloves. You heasitated for a moment before taking them off. She nodded to the extra shirt too, you took that off, leaving you in your tank and pants, your shoes were off somewhere in the room with your arm wraps lain on top of them. She looked at you with a smile on her face, the corners of her eyes crinkling as her lips turned upwards. Now you whiped the tears from her eyes, your breath becoming unsteady when she leaned into your hand. “I love you.” She said as her eyes drifted closed, her face turning into your palm. You smiled down at her, “I love you too, Lin.” She sighed from exhaustion, her whole body relaxing. “I’ve wanted to hear you say that again for nineteen years.” You chuckled, as you watched her. She brought her hands up to your arm and smirked. “What are you doing?” You asked just before she pulled you down to her, chuckling as you gasped out, you gracelessly fell into her, the upper half of your body on top of her as your legs tried to steady yourself, still half in your chair. “Get up.” She said to you, and you sighed once again as you sat on the edge of the bed before she pulled you into her arms. She held you tight as you laid together, listening to the rhythm of each other’s breathing. Her hands ghosted over your bare skin as you laid with her, “I missed you.” You said to her quietly. She nodded before she spoke. “I’m glad you came back.” She hesitated, “Will you stay, please, with me,” you looked at her, surprise on your face and hope in hers. She steadied herself and spoke again. “Stay with me, for always.” Your breath shook as your face was an inch from hers, your hearts beating together. “With you?” You nodded, “I’ll stay forever.” She stayed with you for the next few days, changing to your room in the temple. She rested most of the time, and you would come in from training with Korra at night to have her in your bed, waiting for you. 

After Lin had recovered for a few days, it was time to address what had happened. You knew it would be bad, you had avoided the radio and papers since you had gotten her back, but now you were terrified once again as you rode into the city with her in a car. You shuddered as you got out at town hall, feeling people stare at you and hearing murmurs amongst the crowd that had formed. You had covered yourself almost completely for this, but you could sense the fear the crowd still had of you, benders and non-benders alike. You stood to the side with Tenzin and Korra as Lin got up to address the crowd. “Citizens of republic city, a few nights ago, there was an attack in the werehouse district.” You flinched as you heard a voice from the crowd yell. “Then why isn’t that monster in chains!” You looked down as Lin went on. “During this attack, I was captured after being ambushed by several chi blockers. I was taken hostage, we do not know what the intentions of the Tripple Threat Triad were, but we do know that they meant to do a great deal of harm.” Another voice called out. “Thank the spirits the avatar was there to stop that beast!” You flinched again as you looked up, setting your gaze over the crowd. Lin went on. “It was not the Avatar who intervened, but if someone had not come to my aid I do not know what would have happened. It is with this in mind that I thank Y/N Y/L/N, for stepping in and taking on the men there, and for saving my life.” There was silence over the crowd. “Ms. Y/L/N stepped in and incapacitated the gang members at the scene, allowing my officers to arrest them, however, after being forced into conbat with the leader known as “Lightning Bolt Zolt” Ms. Y/L/N was left with no choice but to kill him in order to defend me as well as herself. This matter has been investigated, and it was determined that she acted in self defense. Ms. Y/L/N has both my gratitude, and an official injunction from the Republic City Police Department, making her a liaison to the force.” You did your best to hide your shock at her words, you knew you had to appear in front of the public, and you knew that the department had found you innocent, but Lin was making it clear that anyone who challenged it would be challenging the entirety of the police department. She was protecting you, no, she was fighting for you. You did your best to stand still as you waited for the reaction. There was quiet for a moment, before the press all but surged forward, instantly asking questions about you and the incident, as well as taking pictures of both you and Lin. You didn’t like it, but you did your best to ignore the flashes as you stood there and Lin answered questions, it was going to be okay, you thought, maybe, just maybe, it was going to be okay. Then you heard a reporter shout from the crowd, “Chief Beifong, does the fact that the Storm Slayer was the first at the scene have anything to do with her being caught at your apartment previous to her leaving the city?” You blanched, you could feel Lin’s energy spike too as you panicked. “Yes,” she said, as you looked at her shocked, she looked over at you for just a moment before winking. She brought up her left hand in front of her face and you couldn’t believe it, the ring on her finger was the one you were going to give her all those years ago, she must have found it in the room you shared. You looked back at Lin, eyes wide, watching the smirk on her face, “that would be because she is my fiancée. Which is why I had no involvement in processing her case, and the mayor himself delt with it in tandem with the officers of the Republic City Police Force, no further questions.” You watched her dumbly as she stepped away from the podium and walked to you. “You know, leaving it on the table in your room probably wasn’t the greatest idea, considering that’s where I’ve been sleeping lately.” She said quietly over the murder of the crowd. You blushed as she took your hand through the glove and led you off the steps of the hall. She took you home and gave you the one she picked for you that night.


End file.
